Friday, February 8th, 2008...1:30 pm
Some Good Facts About Dieting
We at the Institute apologize for the lack of an update yesterday. Though, being that we are thin, we can expect you will have inferred that this was because we were so busy and not because we were lazy.
We are still very thin and very busy today, but showing the effective time-management skills that allow thin people to go to the gym every day and cook nutritious meals from whole foods like our ancestors did*, we’ve managed to come up with three highly good facts to share with you.
The first two facts have come about primarily as a result of highly scienteriffic analysis of data gleaned from this site:
- It is never safe to lose more than about one and a half pounds per week. Unless you’re overweight, of course. Since everybody knows it is always healthier to be thin than it is to be fat, no amount of weight loss can possibly be unhealthy if it moves you from fatter to thinner. Moreover, not only will any amount of weight loss be healthy, no amount will be enough unless it ends in thinness. If you drop fifty pounds in a couple months and are still fat, you’ve endangered your health for no reason if you stop. If you do the same thing and are now thin, you’re clearly in perfect health.
- Anorexia nervosa is a heart-breaking disorder which results in the death of hundreds of thin girls a year. It is, however, a perfectly valid dieting technique if you’re overweight. Just remember to stop being so anorexic when you reach your target weight. Try not to recover so completely that you begin to regain weight; just enough that you don’t die. Nothing is more tragic than the loss of a person with a societally acceptable body.
And, inspired bythis site:
- Though many people compare dieting to starvation, the fact is they couldn’t be less similar. In a World War II era study of the effects of starvation, participants were given 1600 calories a day. Many diets will restrict calories to 1400, 1200, or even 800 a day in order to prompt weight loss and get past plateaus. See the difference? Dieting isn’t just like starvation… it’s better.
*Results not typical.
4 Comments
February 8th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
LOL!!!!! I actually got a reponse saying that!
February 11th, 2008 at 12:21 am
You may have seen this already, but *finally* there is an article in the media that tells the truth about fat and thin - and the brilliance of the commenters is just so much icing on the cake! It might even deserve its own entry in the Good Facts category - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/india_knight/article3341721.ece
So many good facts in one place I can hardly stop jumping for joy!
February 11th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I read the India Knight article and comments and one of the commenters must be a THIN reader. He emphasized his point with the statement: “It’s that simple.”.
February 11th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
THIN, I disagree with your assertion that 1,600 calories per day is starvation. Think of the Children. Schools in Florida are already serving children up to 200 calories per day less than what they’ve been told their bodies need by the FDA. If we assume 2000 calories per day is what a teenager is mandated by the FDA, and starvation is 1600 calories per day—well, then those kids in Florida would be half-starved (since they’re getting 1800 calories per day).
And that’s just crazy. I mean, OMG, they’re still fat. Nobody who is half-starved is still fat. In fact, using the time-tested, highly scienteriffic formula “calories in = calories out,” fat people would have to be eating twice, three times, etc more than us thin people in order to be fat. And they must be getting no exercise (which burns incredibly huge amounts of calories).
You see, people are naturally thin. It’s only when they abuse the formula, by say, eating a daily spoonful of their thin child’s unfinished macaroni and cheese (which is about 40 calories, adding up over 365 days is 4 POUNDS A YEAR OMG), that they start getting unthin, more commonly known as FATTIEMCFATFAT.
In other words, Florida couldn’t be half-starving its school children, if the school children are still fat.
It’s as simple as that.
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