The Health Institute of Nutrition

Please leave your cupcakes at the door.

“Fat Acceptance” has been making quite a splash in the media everywhere. It’s in the New York Times, it’s in the Chicago Tribune, it’s even on cable morning shows. Quite frankly, it’s all around us. Worse, preliminary information indicates that it may have infiltrated the internet.

Yes, that’s right. The two biggest sources of unsupervised education opportunities for your children—cable television and the internet—have been completely taken over by a veritable army of women who will tell them it’s OK not to hate yourself if you’re overweight.

What’s more, they don’t want other people to hate fat people, either.

All that stands in the way of this dangerously subversive group is the fashion industry, the pharmaceutical companies, the weight loss industry, the carefully cultivated self-loathing of fat people themselves, and ten thousand years of patriarchal thinking. How can our lovingly entrenched ideas about health and beauty hope to survive the onslaught from the well-organized “bloggers” of the so-called “Fatosphere”?

Only be getting organized ourselves. Hard as it may be to believe, there are decent, fat-fearing folks out there who still believe in the power of a Size 0 waist. The problem is that these people are scattered all over the place: in magazines, in tabloid newspapers, at fashion shows, on billboards, on TV, teaching your children in school, writing romantic comedies, administering medical care, designing toys for girls, coming up with and selling great new drugs… how can all these diverse individuals representing “Fat Avoidance” possibly come together into a single unified force?

The answer is by joining them together in a single institution… and that is where The Health Institute of Nutrition comes in. Our goal is to see the “Fat Avoidance” institutionalized at all costs. When facts fail us, we get new ones. When the scientific world doesn’t meet our needs, we go beyond it into the realm that can only be called “scienterrific!”

America, The Health Institute of Nutrition is not just here for you… we’re also here for your children. Especially if you’re fat. Don’t you know how irresponsible that is? Stick around… you’ll soon find out.