Tuesday, February 5th, 2008...9:04 am
Wyclef Jean Films Safety P.S.A.
This past past Super Bowl weekend, singer and health advocate Wyclef Jean took time out of his busy schedule of to make a public service announcement warning audiences about the dangers of Fat Girl Related Stage Collapse Syndrome (FGRSCS).
In layman’s terms, FGRSCS is when a stage collapses as an inevitable result of fat girls being allowed to “shake their thangs” upon it. FGRSCS is a very real condition as evidenced by the fact that people talk about it all the time, and yet not one study has been done on how widespread it is and the media is slow to report on the deaths that it causes.
However, it is far from the only danger of fat-girl-related-thang-shaking. Other hazards include:
- Dangerously elevated levels of self-esteem in the thang-shakers.
- Uncomfortable questions regarding the presumed fitness level of fat girls who—contrary to all scienterrific evidence—are able to shake their thangs for a sustained period of time.
- Confusion over aesthetics and physical attraction arising from the attention said thang-shaking attracts.
In short, when fat girls are allowed to dance on a stage—or in public, or at all—they can end up feeling dangerously sexy, in clear defiance of literally decades of evolutionary biology which tells us that only thin girls may be healthy, beautiful, and fertile.
We at the Institute take our hats off to Wyclef Jean for doing his part to keep America’s fat girls in their place… and off the stage. We must do what we can to see that he receives proper recognition for his leadership.
Steps To Take
- Drop Wyclef’s label, Columbia Records, a line to let them know how much you appreciate his taking a stance on this subject.
- When you see a Wyclef Jean album on the shelves, remember that nothing sends a clear message like dollars and cents.
6 Comments
February 5th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Posting offtopic, but I wanted to bring this gem of an article to you:
Sorry, you’re too fat to eat here
February 5th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
It’s about time someone brought the danger of DWF (Dancing While Fat) to the attention of the public! Thank goodness we have Wyclef Jean to alert everyone to the horrors of DWF!
Will nobody else think of the chiiiiiillllldreeeeennn????
February 5th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
You are forgetting about the dangers of having the THIN message spread by a musician who is of marginal talent and whose popularity heyday was a good 15 years ago. He can only do us more harm than good!
February 5th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I was so moved by Wyclef’s actions that I felt compelled to let his record label know exactly how I felt!
February 6th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Me too! I set his record label a well-crafted note of, er, appreciation…:)
February 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I must say, I’m experiencing dangerous levels of cognitive dissonance. How do we reconcile the enlightened attitudes of this hip-hop artist with dangerous levels of self-esteem among African-Americans? Surely all people of similar shades must think and behave similarly, as do all people of similar sizes.
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