Friday, February 1st, 2008...2:31 pm
Shameless Satirist Slags Weight Loss
Attention! This is an Institute Action Alert!
An awful prankster by the name of Irene Rubaum-Keller has written a hurtful and damaging post designed to make the noble and venerable weight loss movement seem ridiculous, backwards, and out-of-touch with reality.
In her piece, which seems on the surface to be pro-weight loss and anti-fat, she takes widely accepted good facts like “fat people are unhealthy and unattractive” and phrases them in such a bluntly straightforward fashion that they look absolutely ridiculous. Even though they’re not.
And, just in case there was any doubt that these good facts are being applied with maliciously satirical attempt, the premise of her article makes it clear: fat people have a hard time losing weight because they are afraid to be thin, as their fat protects them from being emotionally hurt and their friends and family do everything they can to discourage weight loss.
Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you that if fat people are protected from emotional pain than we, you, and the entire weight loss and fitness industries have been wasting a tremendous amount of time dishing it out. And to give credit where credit is due, the same goes for the friends and families of most fat people. Family members have been our greatest allies, historically, when it comes to shaming the fat.
Remarkably, this is true even when—or perhaps especially when—those family members are fat, too.
Dear readers, we all know that no matter what studies come out or how much evidence is compiled, gaining weight or losing it is all a matter of calories… it’s as simple as that… but this woman makes that viewpoint look just plain silly with her over-the-top lampoon of the unexamined assumptions which form the bedrock of our culture.
Simply put, this cannot stand. There is a comment form on this spurious “article”. The Institute suggests you use it. While normally we prefer not to reach out to fat people for fear of giving the impression that we are offering some kind of treat, we ask any such individuals who happen to be reading this to go to HuffingtonPost and comment on the article with your particular life experiences so that any uninformed observer can see Ms. Rubaum-Keller’s tasteless practical joke for what it is, and not mistake it for anything representative of reality.
5 Comments
February 1st, 2008 at 6:15 pm
When you do comment on the article, please note the author’s credentials as a nurse from the show General Hospital. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2474223/
Perhaps she learned how to write her “practical joke” on a soap opera.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:31 pm
“Call to thin arms…”
Good God, where have you been all my life, AE?
February 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I would go comment, but I’m too busy hiding behind my fat trying not to be raped or have a relationship.
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Dear THIN,
I myself used to hide behind my fat in order not to be hurt. When I saw a diet commercial, I’d go to the fridge. “Take that, Weight Watchers!” I’d cry in triumph, stuffing my face with moldy leftovers. I didn’t care they were moldy, you see, because I was fat and addicted to the calories (even if they were a little rotten).
When teenage boys used to mock me on the street, I’d immediately find the nearest hot dog stand and chow down. I’d then find something with high-fructose corn-syrup, and buy a new video game. Anything to make me fatter, because being fatter would automatically make their comments less hurtful.
I was becoming destructive. My friend’s health-insurance rates went way up because of my fat. They also starting catching the fat, and soon I was in a pitiful state—alone, having eating contests with the emaciated models in the Calvin Klein ads.
Then I found “as simple as that” (or as I like to call it, ASAT). What can I say? The program name says it all. ELMM, or “eat less move more,” and ASAT. I even named my first, thankfully skinny, daughter Elma Sat.
I now have anti-eating contests with the TV. Sometimes I starve for days, especially when the series finales of shows like “America’s Next Top Model” or “The Biggest Loser” are on. When teenagers make comments, I immediately thank them for keeping an eye out for my health and purge whatever (if anything) I’d eaten that day.
I also move more. I dropped all my other interests and hobbies (I was working on a degree towards astrophysics, but hey, I was fat, so what kind of degree would that have been anyway?) to become a marathon runner. Go girl!
Again, thanks, THIN. I just hope others have my results, and especially that they stop abusing their children and lose the weight, already. Sheesh!
February 4th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
*cheers*
It’s as simple as that!
Name your kids ASAT!
They’ll fit the Family Asshat!
… Erm …
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